After childbirth, my intimate area does not feel the same. Is it normal?

After childbirth it is clear that the body needs time to recover. We talk about fatigue, breastfeeding, sleep, returning to exercise little by little...

But we talk much less about what happens to our vulva, our vagina and our sexuality after having a baby.

In consultation, many women explain it to me in a very simple way:

“Since I had my son, I don't feel the same down there.”

And when we start talking, that “I don't feel the same” can mean many things: dryness, pain during intercourse, a scar that pulls or bothers, urine leaks, less sensitivity, the feeling that the vagina is more open or simply not fully recognizing your intimate area.

Can there be changes after childbirth? Of course.

But it is one thing to need time to recover and quite another to assume that “since I have had children, this is how it is now.”

What can change after giving birth?

Pregnancy already represents a major change for the pelvic floor, and childbirth can add other changes to the muscles and tissues of the vulva, vagina, and perineum.

And no two postpartums are the same.

A vaginal birth without injuries is not the same as having had an episiotomy, a major tear, or an instrumental birth.

During the first months we can encounter:

• vaginal dryness;
• pain or discomfort during intercourse;
• urine leaks;
• feeling of pressure or heaviness;
• a scar that bothers or pulls;
• sensation of greater vaginal width;
• changes in sensitivity;
• decreased sexual desire.
• 
  

And here hormones also have a lot to say.

If you are breastfeeding, estrogen levels can remain low. This can make the tissues drier, there is less lubrication, and relationships that previously didn't hurt are now uncomfortable.

“They told me it was normal because I had given birth”

I hear this phrase a lot.

There are things that are frequent after childbirth. But frequent and normal don't always mean the same thing.

The fact that many women have urine leakage after having children does not mean that we have to assume it forever.

The same thing happens with pain during relationships.

Or with a scar that continues to bother you.

Or with that feeling that “something down there has not remained the same.”

If it is affecting your daily life, your sexual relationships, exercise or how you feel about your own body, it is worth evaluating.

Why do relationships hurt me now?

This is one of the queries I see frequently and the answer is not always the same.

Sometimes we find dryness, especially during breastfeeding.

Other times the problem is an episiotomy or a tear that has left a painful scar.

We can also find ourselves with an excessively tense pelvic floor, changes in the vaginal entrance or several things at the same time.

That's why, when faced with pain during relationships, I don't like to simply stay at “use lubricant.”

Lubricant can help, of course. But if the pain persists, I want to know why it hurts.

Because depending on the cause, the treatment will be completely different.

“I feel like I'm more open”

You can also say it.

It may seem silly, but some women take a long time to consult about this because they are embarrassed to explain it or they think it is an inevitable consequence of childbirth.

After childbirth there may be changes in the pelvic floor, the perineum and the entrance to the vagina that make the sensation different, both on a daily basis and during relationships.

And here there is no one treatment for everyone.

Pelvic floor rehabilitation may be necessary. There may be a scar that we need to treat. There may be a tissue problem or an anatomical change that warrants specific evaluation.

First I look, explore and understand what has changed. Then we talk about what we can do.

So when should you check?

There is no date on the calendar when your body has to be exactly the same as before.

And, in fact, it may not be exactly the same again. You have been through pregnancy and childbirth.

But if after that recovery period you continue to have pain, urine leakage, an annoying scar, pressure, significant dryness or you simply feel that something is not working as it should, you don't have to wait years to ask.

And much less thinking that there is no solution because you are a mother.

I always say something similar when consulting:

Having had children can change your body. It doesn't mean you have to get used to living with pain, incontinence or discomfort.